The simple raw beauty of an authentic natural experience. This is not the gym.
Looking down from that raw beauty into the septic miasma of Glasgow. Gyms lurk here.
It's raining (I don't even know if it is, but it's a fair assumption), we're training. Circuits, hangs, bloques, plastic, resin, wood.......metal?? All of the above??
Gyms are awful places. Crass, bland, utterly sterile, full of terrible music and desperate girls on the treadmills and inflated meatheads flexing in the mirror. About as far from the raw beauty of a natural experience as it gets....but out in that environment, say, braced and dangling above the sea on the "grossly overhanging" Call To Arms, those very arms and and indeed legs burning, the idea of having some fitness and strength is quite an appealing one and could even make gyms an appealing means to that end.
Of course, that end is climbing and gym training isn't climbing training, as people (often people who are already very physically fit with fully functional legs that require little additional work AND very climbing fit etc etc) are quick to point out... "Do more climbing training", they say. Bloody great idea if you have rhino skin and steel tendons. On the other hand when I have the following options...
1. Train climbing 5+ times a week, bouldering, routes, boarding.
Likely result: Unable to climb hard after first week due to fucked skin and fingertips. Unable to climb at all after second week due to chronic golfer's elbow and shoulder impingments.
2. Train climbing 3+ times a week, rest on the other days.
Likely result: Able to cope with the climbing level, get fat and demoralised in between times. Climbing progress slows due to weight and slothfulness.
3. Train climbing 3+ times a week, do awesome outdoor activity 2 days a week.
Likely result: Able to cope with the climbing level, but either drown, get hypothermia, or give up awesome outdoor activity as it's too bloody miserable in Scotland in winter - or even if I survived I'd be too hampered by DVTs to make full use of a glorious hillwalk in horizontal sleet.
4. Train climbing 3+ times a week, go to gym 2 times a week.
Result: Able to cope with the climbing level, complimentary training at gym improves core and antagonists, along with CV in a drier environment, weight is stable and climbing progresses due to stimulated muscles and improved motivation/energy.
...then hopefully those uberfit uninjured climbing hones can forgive me if I choose the option that actually works for me.
Bear in mind I try to use the gym quite sensibly - I have no intention of becoming an inflated meathead, although I do enjoy lifting heavy metals in short controlled bursts:
Yup actually having FUN doing a physically challenging activity can be a useful motivator.... In terms of weights, I've spent a bit of time looking at bodybuilding videos on Youtube to find what is effective for bulking up and finding common threads e.g.: focusing on the 8-15 rep range, aiming for the maximum time-under-tension, isolating specific muscles, not resting weights on fully extended/contracted limbs, doing specific muscle group sessions, eating a lot to support muscle growth etc AND THEN DOING THE OPPOSITE e.g. focusing on 1RMs and high weights / low reps for pure strength, aiming for maximum effort in very short bursts, working overall movements, resting between reps and long rests between sets, mixing in all different muscles groups in small doses for each one, and trying to eat healthily but not excessively.
My usual gym training consists of some of (in varying proportions):
Climbing relevant training:
Pull-ups
Lat pull downs
Rows
- All pretty damn obvious. I don't mind mixing in some higher reps with these as I figure a little bit of muscle gain from pulling down on stuff is probably offset from being able to, errr, pull down on stuff.
Antagonist weight training:
Benchpress
Shoulder press
- Bog standard antagonist stuff. High weight low reps for these, warm-up on 5s, then down to 3s, then down to 1RM. Total of 15 reps overall with lots of rests. I love the motions of both of these especially bench.
Dips
- Also standard antagonist and probably good for helping with mantles. I usually do these in sets of 10, again banking on relevant muscle gains.
Leg weight training:
Deadlifts
- I love deadlifts. If you don't love deadlifts, check for a pulse. All round great exercise for maximum muscle stimulation.
Squats
- I have problems with leg fitness, which is particularly noticable on steep uphills. I figure that a bit of leg strength might help. Also good for rock-overs.
- High weight low rep stuff for both of these of course. I don't want fucking cyclist thighs.
Core training:
Leg raises
Machine crunches
Machine rotations
- Bog standard core. Again I don't mind doing longer sets for these as they are so relevant to climbing.
CV training:
Compound lifts
- Very light weight clean and jerk into overhead press, renegade rows etc. Overall body and good heartrate boosters in a short time.
Sledge pushing
- The sledge is a cunt, nuff said. This is THE most relevant exercise I've found for slogging uphill with a rucsac on, not least because I hate it, so it must be right.
Rowing machine
Recumbent cycling
- Both obvious, both specifically good for me with my legs, the former as it uses other muscles too, the latter as the recumbent posture encourages venous return. I do these after the heavy weights as they're meant to be more effective once muscles are stimulated.
Will this get me to "tick 8a" or "first Enumber" or whatever crass fucking bullshit I'm supposed to aim for?? Not directly, no. Will it improve my body and mind overall to be better prepared for climbing training and physically harder climbing subject to a lot of climbing training?? Yes, yes it has.
Gyms are awful places. But they are useful places to push yourself physically and improve yourself physically, and I've kinda grown fond of them in that way.....and all those poncy twats down there, at least they're putting the effort into something physical and active and progressive....
The music still fucking sucks tho.
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